How to get through Blue Monday

How to get through Blue Monday - Lovebomb your partner, take up salsa or sing to the skies – these are just a few of the expert tips for beating the blues, says Mark Walton-Cook .

Today is the mother of all unhappy Mondays. Not only are we still suffering the comedown from Christmas but the financial fallout is evident in the arrival of credit card bills. Resolutions made on January 1 have long since bitten the dust. It is dark when you get up for work and when you leave the office.

Mentaline.com, an online therapy website, has declared today “Blue Monday”, based on demand for counselling. Other organisations, working to a different formula, say that next Monday is in fact the glummest of the year.

Either way, it is a long, long way to the next bank holiday – Easter this year falls later than usual, on April 25. Down-in-the-mouth and broke, right now we could all do with some self - administered TLC.

So here are a few cheap and cheerful suggestions to get you through Blue Monday.

Money can’t buy you happiness, but giving it away will lift your mood. Harvard Business School found that spending as little as £3 on others instantly makes you happier. A 2008 study published in the journal Science found that people were more content if they felt their money was having a positive impact on others, and not just themselves. Leave a bigger tip at lunch, or put a little something into that Christian Aid envelope.

Down-in-the-mouth and broke, right now we could all do with some self - administered TLC

Lovebomb your partner

Make your first text message or tweet of the day a slushy one. For this simple karmic act, known to pop philosophers as “paying it forward”, you can expect a good vibe in return. For ideas of what to write in your message, dip into Tweetie Pie: 140 Ways To Say I Love You (Orion, £6.99), a new pocket-book full of epithets such as “We didn’t speak much last night. We didn’t need to. I like that. xxx”.

Get singing

You don’t have to audition for Simon Cowell to feel the benefit: singing to yourself in the shower is an easy way to boost your levels of oxytocin, a feel-good hormone that scientists believe also acts as a natural painkiller. A report by the University of Sydney revealed that belting out a song has a palliative effect. “It lifts the mood, removes stress, and makes people feel better and happier,” says Sue Philips of the Alzheimer’s Society in Wales, which has set up singing groups for people with dementia. Reports suggest that singing can also improve cognitive function, reduce depression and boost the immune system.

Get the teas in

Psychologists at Yale University found that workers were more kindly disposed towards their colleagues, seeing them as more generous and caring if they had just held a warm drink in their hands.

“Physical warmth can make us see others as warmer people, but also cause us to be warmer – more generous and trusting – as well,” said the report’s co-author, Professor John A Bargh. So who will get in the next tea round, then?

Sit up straight

It can be difficult to summon up the enthusiasm to exercise at this time of year, but performing gentle exercises while sitting will help lift your mood. Wendy Oliver, a trainer who runs the Touch Studios in Bristol, says: “The answer is to engage in exercises that focus on enhancing posture. Our moods have a big influence on our posture and stance, creating tension in our bodies.”

Eat yourself happy

There is no end of advice at this time of year on what to eat to live healthier and get thinner. However, some foods will also help lift your mood. Ian Marber, from the Food Doctor nutrition consultants, recommends eating raw green beans, which are rich in magnesium, a nutrient that reduces emotional irritability and belligerence; the Institute of Psychiatry found magnesium deficiencies in patients who suffered from depression.

Low levels of vitamin B12 are also associated with mood swings; one serving of red snapper has three times your recommended daily intake. Something of an acquired taste, liquorice contains isoflavene, which helps control reactions to stress. Break out the Allsorts.

Go dancing

This is not recommended just for Strictly Come Dancing addicts going cold turkey. A quick foxtrot around the living room will release enough endorphins, the feel-good hormone, to take your mind off the bleakness of the weather. Former Strictly judge Arlene Phillips says: “Dancing isn’t just about the physical benefit – it makes you feel good, too. Watch people walking down the street: if they’re listening to music there’s a spring in their step.”

Go barefoot

Walking around the office in bare feet will give you a quick physical lift. Dr Liz Miller, in her new book Moodmapping (Rodale, £8.99), says: “Tired feet make you feel tired. By giving them new sensations, and allowing your toes to move, you wake up a part of the body normally enclosed and give yourself a reflexology session. Once your feet feel better, the rest of you will, too.”

Get flirty

If any excuse were needed, it is good to practise your chat-up lines. “Part of your brain’s hypothalamus responds to flirtatious encounters by producing the hormone dopamine,” says Dr Michael Green, a neurologist at Aston University. “Brain cells that store it are then primed to fire the feel-good chemical into your synapses.” And if your other half finds out, you have the perfect explanation.

Say it with flowers

A study by Harvard Medical School has shown that floral-scented candles can put a smile on your face. Researchers found that a votive or two can reduce anxiety, make you feel more enthusiastic and give your spirits a lift. A behavioural study also suggested that “morning people” felt far happier and more energetic after waking to a vase of fresh-cut flowers. That’s petal power for you.

Listen to the birds

Birdsong can help you through the gloom of shorter winter days, says the National Trust, which has launched an online audio guide to Britain’s best-loved birds. Trust ecologist Peter Brash says that listeners will feel better for hearing it. “Taking the time out to listen to five minutes of birdsong every day could be beneficial to our wellbeing – although there is no real substitute for listening to birds singing in the outdoors, and we’re never far away from birdsong wherever we are.”

A study of the mood-altering effect of sounds by Goldsmiths College, University of London, found that even a short burst of birdsong – or other “happy” sounds such as crashing waves and crackling fires – affects perceptions, creating the illusion that you are content in your surroundings and making the day seem more bearable.

Write a journal

Today is the day you need to focus on the good things in your life. Before bedtime, write down all the things you have to be grateful for, as well as all the things that went well over the course of the day. Effective journal-writing captures the essence of your thoughts, provides reflection, allows for creativity, sharper memories, self-examination, and spiritual direction for a more complete person. Doing this also helps you wind down, ensuring a better night’s sleep.

Professor James Pennebaker, from the University of Texas, who has carried out numerous experiments on the health benefits of expressing your thoughts and feelings in writing, found that journal-keepers produce less cortisol, a stress hormone, and demonstrate a more vigorous antibody response to bacteria and viruses. “Writing a diary is a chance to stop, stand back and look at your life,” he says. “Use the quiet time to make life-force corrections.” ( telegraph.co.uk )

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Why Women Lie - ( 3 )

She’s manipulative

Sometimes a liar justifies herself by saying that she only embellished the truth. Some people can win arguments and influence people just by emphasizing the right points -- without really lying. On the other hand, she may lie outright in order to control the way you think or feel. If she tells white lies to win arguments or to twist you around her finger, you should watch out, because manipulation is a powerful tool.

What you should do: Seriously? Run. If you’ve caught her in a manipulative lie, she’s already trying to play you. This can only get worse.

She’s testing you

If she’s unsure of your temperament or intentions, she might try to test the waters. She could tell you a false story about a past relationship to see how you react. She might tell you her best friend thinks you’re cute to see if your eye wanders. This type of testing is meant to catch the bad guys before they get too close.

What you should do: Although it may be a defensive action, it is a sign of trouble ahead, as it is indicative of immature behavior. Telling you lies is not the way to get to know you, and a woman who does this is unlikely to be any more stable once you get closer to her.

She wants to keep the upper hand

She might withhold information to maintain a sense power over you. For instance, if a mutual friend tells her something important, she may keep it from you so that she has the inside scoop. Or she might just keep things from you to keep you at a disadvantage; that way, she can pick and choose what to tell you and when.

What you should do: Unless you have underlying domination fantasies, this is probably a problem you should deal with promptly. She’s found a way to keep you under her thumb, and as long as you allow it, you’ll stay there. Anyone who tries this kind of trick likely has control issues and will continue to dominate you. If this sounds unattractive to you, get out while you can.
liar, liar, pants on fire

What you want to keep in mind about lies is that they are, by definition, dishonest. A woman who is keeping things from you or just making things up has hidden motives. Chances are that anything you try to build with a liar will collapse in the end. If you find out a woman has lied to you, try to get her to ‘fess up, and then you can decide whether it’s something you can get past or if it’s time to throw in the towel. ( askmen.com ) ..... Prev

READ MORE - Why Women Lie - ( 3 )

Why Women Lie - ( 2 )

She’s trying to hide her past

Like the previous type of lie, this one is an attempt to wipe the slate clean, to start fresh with a new man. It could be because she’s ashamed of her past, but it could also be because she wants to forget it. This is often a lie to protect a sexual history that she thinks you’ll judge her for.

What you should do: A lie like this can be dangerous; if she’s lying about whom she’s been with, there’s a reason why, so be sure you know what you’re getting into. If she does come clean about her past, however, make sure that you’re sensitive in your reaction. After all, the fear of a negative reaction is exactly why she lied.

She’s protecting herself

If she’s trying to keep her distance from you, she might be afraid of making herself vulnerable. She probably believes that if you don’t know about the skeletons in her closet, it’ll be easier for her to walk away from you without getting hurt. This is a popular defense mechanism, but it can be very hard to relate to a person who’s caged herself off from you.

What you should do: If you think she’s worth the trouble, do your best to make her feel more comfortable so that she can open up. If she doesn’t crack after a while, however, furthering the relationship will be next to impossible and probably not worth your time.

She doesn’t want you to worry

If you’re concerned about that male coworker she’s been spending so much time with, she might lie about the time they spend together. This doesn’t mean that there’s anything going on; she’s just doing what she wants without having you fret about it. Or if you worry about her when she jogs outside at night, she might do it anyway and just not tell you. These are relatively well-meaning lies, but they are still quite damaging. When you finally find out the truth, you’ll likely have trouble trusting her.

What you should do: Explain to her that lies are not the easy way out of tough situations. If she wants to do something and you’re stewing about it, maybe you need to trust her judgment a little more. On the other hand, if she’s just willing to white-lie her way through life, perhaps you should cut and run.

She doesn’t trust you

She may have information she considers sensitive and isn’t sure whether to tell you about it. If you don’t know each other very well yet, this could be a legitimate lie to protect others’ interests. As such, it should be seen as a relatively loyal gesture toward those she’s protecting. However, if you’re well into your relationship and she’s still hiding all sorts of information from you, she might have major trust issues.

What you should do: Confront her about her lack of trust. Is it founded on past experiences of you blabbing or is she just being paranoid? Be sure she knows that you think lying is out of bounds and that a lack of trust is not a solid basis for a relationship. ( askman.com ) Next Page ...

READ MORE - Why Women Lie - ( 2 )

Why Women Lie - ( 1 )

Why Women Lie - Regardless of the fact that nobody enjoys being lied to, it seems that lying within all types of relationships is common, and is thereby often forgiven or overlooked. While it’s true that most of us are guilty of a little white lie now and again, relationships that are plagued with frequent lies can easily become hurtful and destructive.

Women often tell horror stories about how they’ve been lied to in past relationships, but the truth is that women are as guilty of lying as men, although perhaps for different reasons. And sometimes their lies are more personal and hurtful. Chris Rock hit the nail on the head when he declared that “men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.” In any case, defining a lie and deciding how it should be dealt with often depends on what the basis for the lie is.

While some lies have obvious causes and can therefore be dealt with in a straightforward way, other lies have much more elusive justifications that can make it difficult to know how to respond.

Although there can sometimes seem to be a legitimate reason for lying, it is nonetheless an unhealthy and damaging habit. For this reason, it’s a good idea to reevaluate any relationship in which there’s been dishonesty. Read on for some of the most common reasons women feel the need to lie to you, and what you should do to get around it.

She wants to spare your feelings

If there’s something about you that she doesn’t like, she may think that it’s preferable to keep you in the dark about it. Although this is a lie spoken with a generous heart, if she never tells you the things that bother her, she might start to resent you, which could spell the end of the relationship.

What you should do: Assess what the intention behind the lie was and how it reflects on her. Is she so insecure that she couldn’t come to you with the problem? Or is she just waiting for the right time to blow you off? If the lie is serious and affects the foundation of your relationship, then it’s time to cut the ties. If, however, it’s a minor problem in an otherwise solid structure, face the situation head-on and make it clear that lying is not an option in the future.

She wants to make herself look good

This type of lie is often told because it makes her seem more glamorous or successful. Although this might seem like a harmless attempt to make people like her, it can be a sign of a more devious personality.

What you should do: If she lied to you to try to impress you, you might feel flattered. On the other hand, this is a deliberate and mischievous lie, the sort that could denote an underhanded person. Be aware that she might tell lies about you to make you seem more glamorous to outsiders. Also, ask yourself what she might do to get ahead, and whether she’d leave you at the drop of a hat for somebody who is higher on the social ladder. (askman.com ) Next Page .....

READ MORE - Why Women Lie - ( 1 )

How obesity affects women in pregnancy

How obesity affects women in pregnancy - As the obesity epidemic spreads there are more cases of obesity in pregnancy. Figures in UK suggest that one in 20 pregnant women is obese. If a woman is obese in her first pregnancy she may well be heavier by the second and third pregnancy.

Women who are pregnant do not like to hear the word obese, and like the words clinically obese or morbidly obese even less. When doctors use these words women tend to feel hurt and defensive. Very often it is in pregnancy that a woman’s weight is discussed for the first time and mentioned in such terms. Pregnancy is also a time when a woman is very sensitive and pregnancy is supposed to be a happy time spent enjoying getting ready for a new baby. So if the doctor speaks bluntly about her weight naturally she will feel upset and sad and may be put off visiting her doctor. If doctors do need to talk to patients about their weight it is always easier to talk in terms of BMI. (Body Mass Index) as this medicalizes the problem and makes it easier.

Women need support and advice and do not need to feel judged by the medical profession when they are already feeling sensitive and nervous.

It is important to stress the positive things a woman can do such as eating a balanced diet and taking a daily walk or swim.

Many pregnant women feel that it is a time when they should relax but some gentle exercise is recommended as you need to be fit to go through labour. If you are not sure what exercise is right for you speak to your doctor. If you haven’t been active in sometime you will need to take it very gently.

How obesity can affect pregnancy

It is important to say at the start that most women who are obese go on to have healthy babies. This is because doctors are experienced in looking after women of all shapes and sizes and the body adapts.

There are some areas where there are difficulties, which should be noted. It can be more difficult to get a good scan when a lady is obese and also it can be more difficult to administer an epidural as there is more fat for the needle to go through. Babies can also be larger in obese women that can cause problems with delivery. That said, doctors have plenty of experience with all of this and most births in obese women are absolutely normal. Most are nice and easy and everybody is happy.

Rising rates of obesity mean that many women are obese with their first pregnancy and then fail to lose the extra weight gained and are heavier in the next pregnancy. However weight loss in pregnancy is not recommended but a healthy balanced diet is important for both mother and baby.

If you are overweight and thinking about starting a family go to see the doctor before you get pregnant to make sure you have a healthy strong body. You can also prepare for pregnancy by making sure your body has all the nutrients it needs to produce a healthy baby and protect the mother’s health. It is important to plan for pregnancy by eating well and taking exercise. This means positive healthy eating and not going on a crash diet that puts the body into a state of stress.

If you are in the best of health before pregnancy it will insure the best outcome for mother and child. ( arabnews.com )

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Overweight New York women more likely to die during childbirth than thinner women

Overweight New York women more likely to die during childbirth than thinner women - Overweight New York women, and those older than 40, are more likely to die during childbirth than their thinner, younger counterparts, a new Health Department study found.

Nearly half of the women who died from childbirth from 2001 to 2005 were obese - and 37% of them were older than 40, city data show.

"Obesity is a large factor in pregnancy-related deaths," said Wendy Wilcox, a consultant for the Health Department and vice chairwoman in the ob-gyn unit of the North Bronx Healthcare Network.

A new Health Department study finds nearly half the women who died during childbirth from 2001 to 2005 were obese.

These women also tended to be black and uninsured and to have C-section deliveries, officials said.

Although the number of deaths during childbirth remains relatively low - there were 161 during the four years studied - the city's rate of pregnancy-related deaths is the highest in the state and among the highest in the country.

The city averages 23 maternal deaths for every 100,000 births, double the nation's average of 12.

Poverty appears to be the culprit, officials said, noting that the neighborhoods with high rates of pregnancy-related deaths also count the highest number of obese and low-income residents.

The Bronx ranked tops for maternal deaths, followed, in order, by Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan and Staten Island.

The leading cause of maternal deaths was blood clots, bleeding, hypertension and infection. Obese women are at high risk for blood clots. ( nydailynews.com )

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Is your marriage strong enough for kids?

Is your marriage strong enough for kids? - Feeling unsure if your marriage can stand the test of time and family? Here are a few of the indicators.

Is it possible to foretell the demise of one’s marriage? An acquaintance confided that she was not too keen to start a family with her husband of a year because she did not have enough confidence in their marriage.

Within 2 years the couple divorced, childless. Not many couples have that sort of intuition to forecast the future end of their marriage.

According to the South African Department of Statistics, 28 924 divorces occurred in 2008. Of these 56.6% (16 370) had children under 18 years and the average number of children per divorce was between one and two. More women (50.6%) sued for divorce compared to men (37, 8%).

The formula for long marriage

Social scientists have attempted to come up with formulas to foretell whether or not a marriage will survive. One such study was published in Psychology Today in the article ‘Will your marriage last?’ The study was based on research done by American professor of human ecology, Ted Huston, Ph. D.

The study concluded that couples who date for a short periods of time (months instead of years ) before marrying are likely to divorce as they get a rude awakening when they discover their partner’s true colours after tying the knot. Couples who have unrealistic expectations of marriage were also found to be likely to split.

Loss of love and affection was noted as one of the reasons couples divorce. Failure to maintain initial strong positive feelings leads to lots of fights and divorce. The study encouraged couples to preserve the initial positive feelings they initially had for each other.

Couples with a realistic view of marriage who viewed the loss of ‘honeymoon euphoria’ as ‘a natural transition from romantic relationship’ to ‘working partnership’ are likely to stay married according to the study.

Stable and unstable combinations

Another study, developed by a team of British and American mathematicians which claims to predict the failure or success of a marriage with 94% accuracy came up with 5 marital types, 3 of which are more prone to divorce.

Stable marital types

• Two validators- ‘Husband and wife (who) have mutual respect and share values.’
• Two avoiders- ‘Husband and wife (who) agree to disagree and avoid conflict.’

Marital types prone to divorce

• Two ‘volatiles'- ‘Both partners are passionate and see each as equals,’ This marital type can either be stable or unstable.
• The ‘volatile’ and a ‘validator’ – ‘one passionate, one conciliatory.’
• A ‘validator’ and an ‘avoider’ – ‘one partner tackles problems while the other avoids conflict.’

The same study claims how a couple feels and acts when conversing about a topic which is a common source of strife between them, may be a sign of whether their marriage will last or not.

Positive feelings such as humour, agreeing, joy affection and interest show that the marriage is safe. If a couples conversations tends to be negative with feelings such as domineering, sadness, belligerence, defensiveness, disgust, stonewalling and contempt, the marriage is headed for trouble.

By going through these studies I learned that marriage should not be hurried and requires commitment and a lot of maintenance. The evidence suggests that newly married couples should take time to strengthen their union before adding children into the picture. ( parent24.com )

Does a strong marriage make for better parents?

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Spacing Babies Close May Raise Autism Risk

Spacing Babies Close May Raise Autism Risk - Close birth spacing may put a second-born child at higher risk for autism, suggests a preliminary study based on more than a half-million California children.

Children born less than two years after their siblings were considerably more likely to have an autism diagnosis compared to those born after at least three years.

The sooner the second child was conceived the greater the likelihood of that child later being diagnosed with autism. The effect was found for parents of all ages, decreasing the chance that it was older parents and not the birth spacing behind the higher risk.

"That was pretty shocking to us, to be honest," said senior author Peter Bearman of Columbia University in New York. The researchers took into account other risk factors for autism and still saw the effect of birth spacing.

"No matter what we did, whether we were looking at autism severity, looking at age, or looking at all the various dimensions we could think of, we couldn't get rid of this finding," Bearman said. Still, he said more studies are needed to confirm the birth spacing link.

Closely spaced births are increasing in the United States because women are delaying childbirth and because of unplanned pregnancies. Government data show the number of closely spaced births — where babies are less than two years apart — is rising, from 11 percent of all births in 1995 to 18 percent in 2002.

The study, appearing Monday in the journal Pediatrics, comes just days after a new report further tarnished a British researcher's 1998 paper linking vaccines to autism, this time calling the paper a fraud based on altered facts.

Bearman contrasted the new research to what he called the "junk science" behind the notion that vaccines cause autism.

"One of the things that leads people to think that junk science is science is the idea that science solves all problems with a single bullet," Bearman said. Instead, "science is very slow and proceeds in steps."

Reasons behind the birth spacing-autism link aren't clear. It could be that parents are more likely to notice developmental problems when siblings are very close in age, Bearman said. When 2-year-old Billy isn't developing like 3-year-old Bobby, parents might be more likely to seek help.
Or biological factors could be at play, he said. Pregnancy depletes a mother's nutrients like folate, a B vitamin found in leafy green vegetables, citrus fruit and dried beans. Prior research has tied close birth spacing to low birth weights and prematurity, possibly because of lack of folate.
"And it could be a combination of effects, not a single explanation but a combination of dynamics," Bearman said.

The researchers looked at births from 1992 through 2002 in California. They analyzed data on second-born children born to the same parents whose older siblings didn't have autism. The information on autism diagnoses came from the state's Department of Developmental Services.
The overall prevalence of autism was less than 1 percent in the study. Of all the 662,730 second-born children in the analysis, 3,137 had an autism diagnosis. Of the 156,034 children conceived less than a year after the birth of their older siblings, 1,188 had an autism diagnosis — a higher rate, but still less than 1 percent.

Children with Asperger's syndrome and pervasive developmental disorders, milder forms of autism, weren't included. Government studies indicate about 1 in 100 children have autism disorders, including the milder forms.

Dr. Diane Ashton, March of Dimes' deputy medical director, called the study results an interesting finding that she hasn't seen in prior research. The results will have to be replicated, she said, but her organization already suggests at least a year between pregnancies.

"That is to allow the mother to rebuild depleted nutritional stores and decrease the risk for low birth weight and prematurity. Surely this evidence would provide additional reasons for those recommendations to be made," she said.

The March of Dimes also recommends that all women of childbearing age take a daily multivitamin containing folic acid, an artificial version of folate. Since half of pregnancies aren't planned, the recommendation includes women who aren't trying to get pregnant.
The new study was funded by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the National Institutes of Health.

Bearman hesitated to give advice to parents planning families because the results are so new and unconfirmed. Older parents may not want to wait two or three years for a second child because of other health concerns, he said.

"The advice for parents is to pay attention to the science," Bearman said. ( foxnews.com )

READ MORE - Spacing Babies Close May Raise Autism Risk

Pregnant women, new mothers get more protections under healthcare law

Pregnant women, new mothers get more protections under healthcare law - Among the changes: expanding Medicaid's reach, preventive screenings, support services and insurance coverage requirements

By the time women reach 44 years old, roughly 85% have given birth. Yet even though pregnancy and childbirth are so commonplace, health insurance coverage and support services to keep mothers and babies healthy are often seriously deficient.

Some private insurers, for example, treat pregnancy as a preexisting condition and charge pregnant women higher premiums or refuse to cover costs associated with childbirth. Low-income women can get Medicaid coverage while they're pregnant, but they generally lose it 60 days after giving birth unless they're very poor.

The healthcare overhaul greatly improves this situation. Some of the biggest changes don't kick in until 2014, but here's what to look for this year and next:

Starting in the fall, all new health plans must cover certain preventive screenings and other services for pregnant women at no additional cost to the patient. Those include folic acid supplements, which reduce the risk of neural tube defects in developing fetuses, and counseling to help pregnant women stop smoking. Medicaid will also begin to cover smoking cessation counseling and drug therapy for pregnant women.

The law requires employers to provide time off for new mothers to express breast milk, as well as a place (not a bathroom) to do so. It also authorizes funding for research and treatment of postpartum depression.

Additional support services will include a pregnancy assistance fund, which will provide $25 million annually for 10 years for housing, childcare and other needs.

A much bigger chunk of money — $1.5 billion over five years — will be dedicated to expanding home-visiting programs in which nurses and other providers visit pregnant teenagers and young mothers. Among other things, the practitioners suggest ways to cope with the stress that inevitably comes with being a parent.

Studies of this model have shown that it results in better health for both mother and child, more stable relationships and lower rates of child abuse and delinquency. "Every mom wants to do the right thing for her kids, but so many don't know how," says Miriam Rollin, national director for Fight Crime: Invest in Kids, a nonprofit anti-crime organization based in Washington, D.C.

One such mother was Stephenie Rounds, who today is a 26-year-old preschool teacher in Aurora, Colo. But at age 14, she says, she was "crazy" — a repeat runaway who drank and did drugs and got pregnant by her 19-year-old boyfriend.

She credits a program called the Nurse-Family Partnership with helping her get ready for the birth of her son. A visiting nurse helped Rounds quit smoking and enroll in a high school for pregnant teens. The nurse taught Rounds how to decipher what babies try to communicate when they cry and gave her emotional support when her ex-boyfriend returned to town and started dropping by. "She gave me the tools I needed to succeed," says Rounds, whose son Michael is now 11.

The bigger changes coming in 2014 include an expansion of Medicaid to cover adults with incomes up to 133% of the federal poverty level. Forty percent of pregnant women are covered by Medicaid, but many don't have health insurance before they become pregnant or after they give birth. Increasing the number of low-income women on Medicaid raises the odds they'll be healthier overall and have successful pregnancies, says Jocelyn Guyer, co-executive director of Georgetown University's Center for Children and Families.

Also in 2014, many health plans will be required to cover maternity and childbirth services as part of an "essential health benefits" package detailed by the federal government. And insurers won't be allowed to charge women who are pregnant higher rates, or refuse to cover them or their childbirth costs.

Some of the new and expanded initiatives, such as the funding for postpartum depression and break time for new mothers to express breast milk, have been on the wish lists of advocates and lawmakers for some time. But another factor may have played a role during the debate that preceded the new law.

"The dynamic around abortion was so controversial," says Guyer, "people working on the issue wanted to be sure that pregnancy and maternal support services were ensured." ( latimes.com )

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'We're all such mean girls': Writer argues that it's in our nature to hate other women

'We're all such mean girls': Writer argues that it's in our nature to hate other women - It's a brave statement to make - and is likely to be countered by the many billions of women who dote on their best female friends.

But writer Kelly Valen has sparked controversy in the U.S. by claiming that women are 'inordinately' mean to each other.

Her new book, The Twisted Sisterhood, discusses what she calls 'the dark side of female friendship', and argues why she believes women hate each other far too much.

The dark side of female friendship: Writer Kelly Valen believes that it is in our nature to be hurtful to other women, and that we hate each other far too much

'Females draw people in, we're intimate, we share so much,' she explained in an interview with The Times today.

'But it is this expectation of warmth and nurturing that creates a greater disappointment. It tees you up for this really great fall.'

The mother-of-four, who is a lawyer and part-time writer, says is not on a mission to criticise her sex.

Her book is based on personal experience, and the idea was sparked by a chance meeting with a former sorority 'sister'.

Valen was reminded of a traumatic time at university, when she lost her virginity to a fellow student who raped her when she had passed out after getting drunk.

But she says the sequence of events that followed was worse still. Her fellow sorority members isolated her, implying that she was to blame for the rape, before eventually excluding her from the club altogether.

Personal experience: Kelly Valen felt betrayed as a student after she was excluded by her sorority sisters

'Their betrayal cut so deep that it has left me anxious and cowering to this day,' she wrote.

'One minute I was hosting all-girl slumber parties, the next thing I knew a tsunami of mean-girling descended and I found myself feeling awkward and wary around women for more than a decade.

'Expectations ran high, the let-down cut deep, and the fall from that innocent sisterly grace proved very, very steep.'

It inspired her to write an article about it for the New York Times, which led to such a huge response from readers, Valen decided to turn her piece into a book.

Of course, the feedback was not all positive, and she endured more than her fair share of criticism.

''I had all these women writing to me, hundreds of them, to say that finally someone was talking about it.

'I thought, this is interesting - who knew I was the only one? But there was also so much venom. All these loud voices, with so many misunderstandings and personal attacks - "she must be a terrible mother", or "she has post-traumatic stress disorder".

'I think that some women don't really want to believe this is going on. The cat-fighting is what sells, that's what people love to talk about - it's Angelina versus Jen all over the media, all the gossip at the office. But no one is talking about what this does to people,' she added.

Valen admits that her claims are not based on scientific fact, though she has done a study of 3,000 women into how they relate to other women, and 76per cent admitted to having 'felt hurt by jealousy or competition from other women'.

'The luxury of not being a scientist is that I don't have to quantify anything,' she explains.

'This is a book about women, for women - and a lot of them do feel that these are inordinately rough conditions.' ( dailymail.co.uk )

READ MORE - 'We're all such mean girls': Writer argues that it's in our nature to hate other women